F#%Q Book

There are no manuals when it comes to feelings like love or attraction. So, if that’s how you feel… why not? But yes, there is responsibility for what you do with these feelings: Are you in a sexual-romantic relationship with both people and neither of them know it? Or do you want to get closer to one person, but you don’t know which one?

If you want to take a step forward, it is important to think carefully about how you feel about each of them and make sure that the other is aware of what is going on, that there is consent.

Each person has their own way of showing feelings, but perhaps the easiest way is to speak sincerely, and above all with respect and care about the situation, because being engaged, they may feel uncomfortable with this conversation. The situation may also be different if you have a trusting relationship or not. Anyway, I’ll leave you with some questions to ponder:

Do you think there is another way to make them understand how you feel?

What expectations do you have of them?

If the person seems very involved in their relationship, do you feel it would be right for you and them to talk about your feelings, or would it be better to wait?

Do you think they will be willing to listen?

I hope these questions will help you find the right thing to do.

There are no fixed formulas for doing this, but definitely some useful tips: First, think that it is only a potential conversation and that the other person probably knows nothing about what you feel. So try to forget the goal for which you want to approach them and think that it is just a person you are talking to, spontaneously, as if they were a friend. You can start with a simple question on a simple topic. If, on the other hand, you know their interests, you can make a few comments. It is important not to forget to be yourself, not to pretend to be someone else: simple and true. Even if you are afraid, a question or a comment cannot go so badly. In the end, you never know what might happen.

In sexual relations between a person with a penis and a person with a vagina, there is a possibility of pregnancy, and for this reason alone, it is important to make it clear that the responsibility does not lie solely with the woman or the person with a vagina, but with both people involved.

There is a wide variety of contraceptive methods from which you can choose the most suitable for each situation. There are barrier methods (such as condoms) that serve not only to prevent pregnancy, but also sexually transmitted infections; hormonal contraceptive methods (such as the contraceptive pill), mechanical methods (such as the IUD, which is the intrauterine device) and surgical and irreversible methods (such as vasectomy and tubal sterilisation).

The condom is among the best options because it offers broader prevention, does not require a prescription and has no side effects.

However, there is no best option for everyone: it is advisable to have a medical examination to find out which method is best for you.

It is important to mention that the so-called ‘morning-after pill’, more correctly called the ‘emergency pill’ (to be taken as soon as possible after risky intercourse), is not a regular method of contraception, i.e. it cannot be used frequently, but only in emergency situations.

It is also necessary to use contraceptives from the first time, even if penetration is not complete.

Finally, it is important to remember that so-called ‘natural’ methods (such as coitus interruptus or the calendar method) have a high probability of failure, so they are not considered effective methods.

To learn more, click on this link: 

 https://thegendertalk.eu/it/love-act-digital-guide/module-4-comprehending-sexual-health

It is clear from the question that you are determined to make them understand what you are feeling, and the best way is to talk about it sincerely, in a quiet moment. You are friends, so they will most likely know how to listen to you. Then, you never know what will happen: you may need time to figure out what to do, both of you. It will be important to take care of your relationship, beyond what will happen after this conversation.